Dogs Share their Legend of a Were-human

GRAND JUNCTION, CO—In human cultures there are often legends of a man who is cursed to transform into a wolf-like being at the full moon, and to lose all sense of himself while in that state. In a candid interview with several canines to honor International Dog Day yesterday, The Colon sat down to learn more about this legend and how it affects human-dog relationships in their eyes.

The dog panel all agreed that they prefer to distinguish themselves from wolves, whom they see as overly aggressive and isolationist. The panel then insisted that everyone present was a "good boy" or "good girl" as the case may be. Thus, they then concluded that they are not too bothered by the notion that a human becoming more wolf-like would lead to streaks of homicide. "Clearly," said Rufus, a basset hound, "that legend makes parallels with undomesticated and savage beasts, where as we dogs with homes and families are more civilized."

Interestingly, the panel then shared that there is a legend of a were-human among the canine community. "Oh yes," shared Sniffles, a terrier mix, "I remember hearing all about it as a little pup at the shelter. If a human bites a dog, it is said that the dog may begin staring at screens, using the toilet, and filing their taxes when the sun rises."

The others in the panel agreed. Carrie, a greyhound, noted, "I know it's just a story, but I heard of a German shepherd police dog who once was in a scuffle with a crazed suspect. Everyone thought he was fine, but then the next day at sunrise, his master found him doing a crossword puzzle while munching on a bagel. They say he had to be put down, poor boy."

"It used to keep me up at night," explained Marley, a pit bull. "I used to curl up in my little bed and worry that the next morning I'd find myself unloading the dishwasher, or checking the tire pressure."

The parallels between the legends of a werewolf and were-human are fascinating, and may suggest that canine culture is richer than once believed. All of the dogs on the panel discussed their versions of other, somewhat similar legends, including a vampire dog that can steal another dog's scent, a zombie dog who can no longer think for himself because of his master's commands, and even a Santa-like figure who knows when they have been digging through the trash.