WATERMAN, IL—At turkey farms across the United States, turkeys of all struts of life have begun to make their peace with God before their impending deaths as Thanksgiving approaches.
As is tradition in the U.S., people all over the nation will join with family and friends on Thursday, November 28th, and virtually all of them will feast upon the flesh of turkeys along with other seasonal dishes. Whereas turkeys in the wild may have some time left before meeting their maker, those who were raised on farms for the explicit purpose of being consumed as food have seen the writing on the wall after Halloween's end.
Most are resigned to their fate, and have begun increasing their turkey church attendance, muttering daily turkey prayers as they wander about, and seeking spiritual guidance from their turkey clergy. Tucker Turkey recalls his last 15 months of life with serene reflection as he prepares his soul for his turkey maker.
"It's been a good run," Tucker said. "I had some good meals, made some good friends, and saw some sights. But every turkey's got to go sometime, you know."
Tucker, like most other turkeys at this time of year, have prepared for this time since they were young. "I think it's been sort of comforting to know. I don't know how wild turkeys go about each day wondering if that's going to be the one. I have really appreciated the time to find peace with my place in the universe, and to self-reflect and come to know my turkey savior, in whom I trust."
Although some turkeys will go through trials of their faith, Tucker has not really faced that struggle. "I have some brothers and sisters who question how our turkey god could allow this to happen to us. They lack the faith that many of us have been blessed with. I may have had some of those thoughts enter my turkey mind, but I have always accepted that, if it be His will for me to be slaughtered and prepared for a meal for others, then who am I, His lowly servant, to question it?"
It is likely that the fateful day will come at any time, but Tucker has used his turkey faith to help lift him up. "I don't fear death, or what may be done with my body when I'm gone. It is merely an empty shell. I welcome the end, as it is then that I know I will finally meet the creator of the turkey universe, and He shall take me into his wings and know that I never doubted."
Others struggle to understand the situation, as Trisha Turkey explained. "I just have a hard time buying that there's some force out there looking out for us. I mean, if this turkey god really cares about us, why did he make us taste so amazing?"
As of press time, Trisha was attempting to organize a rebellion among the other turkeys whose faith was waning.
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