LA CROSSE, WI—In a recent development that is sure to send chills up your spine, it has become apparent that that tree in the field knows exactly what you're up to.
Although it has no way of communicating what it knows, and cannot inform the interested parties about what you've done, are doing currently, and are planning on doing next, you should just keep in mind that it is fully aware.
Not only is the solitary tree cognizant of that deep, dark secret that keeps your mother rolling over in her grave, but it disapproves in the strongest manner. It is, in fact, with each sway with the wind judging you: condemning you for the horrifying and demonic thoughts and deeds you presently think remain entirely hidden.
Indeed, the tree that has been around since long before you were born, and will likely remain long after you are gone, hopes that you remember that no matter where you run, how you change your appearance, or whatever else you do, it is there, with a mind singularly fixed upon retaining in its own awareness your most atrocious and unforgivable ideas, cravings, and deeds. It wants you to know that it knows what you're up to, and that even though it will never have the chance to do anything about it, it thinks that you should be ashamed.
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