CAMBRIDGE, MA—In 2018, one of the top-searched, non-pornographic terms on the internet was "am I scrubbing too hard?" Following that revelation, a team of medical professionals has come together to answer this conundrum that has baffled the American people for centuries.
Melinda Barrows, M.D., the spokesperson for the team, shared the first sign. "Probably the number one red flag that you are scrubbing too hard is the fact that you are reading this right now. Seriously, if you have ever worried that you're scrubbing too hard, to the point that you actually sought some guidelines, you're scrubbing too hard."
Indeed, Dr. Barrows, who attended medical school for years for this sort of thing, explained that she had never once had a patient in her examination room who asked "Am I scrubbing too hard?" to whom she could respond, "Nah, you're just fine."
"If you think you may be scrubbing too hard, you are. Period." she added.
The second sign is that it hurts, apparently. "A clear sign that you're going overboard with the scrubbing is that either the hand you are using to scrub gets worn out or blistery. There's really no reason that a healthy amount of scrubbing should lead to muscle aches, callouses, or numbness on the scrubbing hand. So don't let it get to that point. By the same token, if the thing you're scrubbing also experiences pain or bleeding, you should have stopped scrubbing a long time ago."
Dr. Barrows continued with the third clear sign that an individual is scrubbing too hard: if anyone has ever asked you to stop scrubbing. "The final sign is if anyone has ever approached you and said something to the effect of, 'You really need to stop that scrubbing right now—please, at this point it's getting traumatic to witness this.'" Dr. Barrows emphasized that it makes no difference whether the person asking you to stop scrubbing is a family member or a stranger, but the fact that they find it necessary to intervene with your scrubbing is an obvious sign that the scrubbing has gone too far.
Dr. Barrows and her team explained that these signs may appear in any order, and stressed that when any one of them does become apparent, the concerned individual should cease all scrubbing and consult a medical professional.
As a final statement, Dr. Barrows asked that we all remember the phrase "scrub carefully," to prevent any adverse effects of over-scrubbing.
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