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Writer's pictureTodd Blankenship

Serious Offers Only, Please


Okay, look. I don't have a lot of time to waste here, so here's the deal: I'm 32, I weigh 129 pounds, and I can't make a grilled cheese sandwich to save my life. But, I do come with a lot of energy, I have a low-interest credit card rate, and I have just 12 years left on my mortgage.

Don't come calling unless you're seriously on the market for some long-term commitment. Too many times have I been lured in by a tight pair of jeans and a nice car just to be tossed aside for a secretary, a stripper, and even a taxi driver. True story.

I'm not asking for a down payment or anything, but you're going to need to commit to 6 dates, minimum before I even return your call. Each of those dates must include dinner, and only 2 may include movies, but for the love of all that is holy, no romantic comedies! I am not that kind of girl. If you can't handle these terms, then good luck to you. If you think you're ready for this rodeo, then give me a call!


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