HOUSTON, TX—A pairing that seemed like it would never end has finally announced a split, sending shock waves through the world of cooking and eating.
A media spokesperson for sodium chloride, or "table salt" as it is known to its fans, announced to a room of reporters on Monday that it is separating from its longtime collaborator, pepper. The decision was not made lightly, the spokesperson assured, and was a long time coming.
Citing only "culinary differences" as the reason for the split, it seems that the pair who were virtually inseparable have ultimately succumbed to the high-stakes of the seasoning game. Longtime fans of the duo have taken to social media to discuss the split and form theories about the true reasons for it.
"I can't help but blame this on salt," said one fan. "Don't get me wrong, I love salt, but it was clearly the more overwhelming of the two. You really needed just the right amount for the pair to really work together, and far too often salt just overdid it and ruined the whole thing."
Another feels that blame falls on pepper. "That stupid spice was just a one-trick pony anyway. Everyone knows that salt was the heavy lifter in that duo. Pepper would just come along every now and then to toss in a little heat, but salt was the backbone. It's going to do just fine after this, you watch."
When asked if there were any hope of a reunion in the future, the spokesperson gave a noncommittal response, but many fans believe that this may just be a publicity stunt. "Yeah, when you're that famous for so long," commented a fan, "it's easy for things to get stale. People take you for granted, think you'll just always be there. This is just a little reminder for us, just to be a little more respectful, I figure."
Pepper could not be reached for comment, but a social media post suggested that it would continue to cause sneezing in cartoons regardless of whatever happened between it and salt.
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