ROCKVILLE, MD—The creators of the popular first-person adventure game, Skyrim, are excited to announce that they have created a new way to experience their games that will feel even more relatable and realistic for gamers.
"We here at Bethesda are always looking for ways to take gaming to the next level," explained spokesperson Haley Reese. "Along with virtual reality, immersive graphics, and more lifelike experiences in our games, we seek to lead the industry in making the games feel more lifelike: closing the gap between fantasy and reality. I believe that this new feature will really set our games apart from the rest."
Bethesda's newest feature, to which Reese refers, is a part of the programming that will cause characters in the game to randomly throw out their lower backs during game play.
"Think about it. More and more of our fans are entering their 30s and 40s, and so when they see main characters who are in their 20s or even teens, it kills a little bit of the fantasy. With this new feature of throwing out their backs at literally any moment, it really makes the gaming experience more of a reality."
According to the press release, main characters, NPCs, and even enemies will occasionally and randomly just throw out their lower backs, fall to the ground in pain, and then not be able to move for up to 48 hours. Depending on the other features of the game, this may be dealt with in several ways.
"For example, let's say you're playing Skyrim," continued Reese. "You may be in the middle of a battle with a cave bear, and mid swing of your battleaxe, you throw out your lower back, fall to the ground, and lay helplessly as the bear tears you to pieces, or you can manage to swallow an invisibility potion or something and hope that the bear goes away.
"However," continued Reese, "your character has an equal chance of throwing out their back just sitting at the local pub, eating a nice soup. Most of these come from real life experiences."
In some of their games, such as the Fallout series, players will also be able to learn new stretches to prevent lower back problems, and in all games where the player can consume foods, eating foods that are more fatty will slightly and slowly increase a character's chance of throwing out their backs. The Elder Scrolls Online will also feature a potion that will temporarily relieve the debilitating back pain, but the character's stamina rating will fall to zero and then only very slowly recover as they lie in agony, wishing for death to take them.
"We have a lot of more ideas in the works to make things more realistic, too," continued Reese. "We are now working on a complicated tax filing system at the end of every calendar year within each game, where, for example, the Dragonborn [main character] in Skyrim has to account for their income from selling goods to local merchants and pay a percentage to the hold [territory] where they spent the most time. That should be fun."
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