BATON ROUGE, LA—A stunning revelation hit the music industry on Wednesday when new evidence shed light on the true origins of jazz music.
Archivists at Louisiana State University uncovered documents suggesting that the rhythmic instrumental music that relies heavily upon improvisation actually started out as a prank. Indeed, the records explain that a trumpeter in or around 1912 in New Orleans had been drinking heavily one night, and convinced fellow musicians to just play some random notes or beats together, with no real melody, chorus, structure, or appeal. The rest of the group was apparently also quite inebriated, as they agreed to the prank.
The documents, mostly journal entries and private letters sent between musicians, reveal that the prank backfired as some of the audience members pretended to enjoy the disjointed noise. They note that only some of the audience seemed to truly appreciate the chaos on stage, but there were also dozens of smug and pretentious people there who feigned some deep understanding of the mess as well.
It is, as yet, unclear what the ramifications of these new revelations will be on the jazz industry. Some fans are weighing whether to fess up and admit that they never actually had any clue what was going on when listening to a jazz album. Others appear willing to continue the charade as they are now too committed to it, with all of their vinyl records and such.
The musicians themselves seem largely appreciative of the new information. The most common reaction to the news is, "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, actually."
As of press time, the city council of New Orleans had called an emergency, closed-door meeting, and could be seen hoarding canned goods and water in preparation for the highly likely event of the apocalypse.
Comments