SANTE FE, NM—The field of optometry is abuzz with excitement and delight as the year comes to a close, with their sights set firmly on the coming 2020. These vision doctors can hardly contain their excitement at the chance to make puns and references to the year which is also the common metric used to describe normal human vision.
"This is the kind of thing that you get once in a lifetime, if you're lucky," stated local optometrist, Kyle Reeds, 45. "This is going to go down in history as 'The Year of the Vision Doctors.'"
In optometry, the metric of describing vision is the distance (in feet) at which the patient can see something clearly, over the distance at which the average person can see it. Therefore, if one has 20/20 vision, one can see at 20 feet what the average person can see at 20 feet. The term is often also called "seeing clearly," or "perfect vision."
It appears that the opportunity to use the year as a constant reference for puns, advertisement, and conversation starters is getting the optometry field giddy as school girls.
"I've never been so excited for anything in my entire life," related optometrist Haley Peters, 69, who has 2 children. "I finally got my weight under control in 2016 just so I would live to see the year."
Peters reports that she has several ideas already in mind for how to take advantage of the year. "I figure I can bring it up just about anywhere. In 2018, you couldn't just sit next to someone and be all like, 'Hey, how is your vision?' But in 2020, it flows so naturally. Like, 'Excuse me sir or madam, it's 2020, shouldn't your vision be, too?' Oh man, see how awesome that sounds?"
There are several new slogans to be had with the upcoming year, as well, as Reeds explained. "Think of it: 'Seeing 20/20 in 2020. Dr. Kyle Reeds.' It sells itself!"
Several of the optometrists expressed concern that the free and constant references to perfect vision throughout the world will cause a flood of new patients with which they are unable to keep up. "I've already started advertising for new employees to prepare for the tidal wave of people I imagine are going to line up. Man, my ship is finally going to come in!"
Dr. Reeds explains that he's also begun spending the money he expects he'll earn in the coming year, planning elaborate vacations, taking on a new car payment, and buying a bigger house. "It's a sure thing, though," he assured us. "I mean, '20/20' on everyone's lips. It's just as good as having everyone say to each other 'You should get your eyes checked.'"
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