MEXICO CITY, MEXICO—Mexican officials held a press conference on Monday to announce the release of a new tortilla model. The announcement comes on the heels of what appear to be leaked documents from a tortilla plant in Hermosillo, which sent the news cycle and social media into a frenzy.
The documents that were leaked to a major news outlet, supposedly by someone close to the operation, appear to be plans for a tortilla that has never been seen before. For one, the scale of the new model is 11% larger than any tortilla currently on the market. Conventionally, the only way to get a tortilla of those dimensions is to have a source of corn or wheat flour and water readily available in one's own kitchen, so this appears to be a major development for tortilla connoisseurs.
The leaked documents had also offered some tantalizing prospects at a rectangular shape, or possibly even square, however, the press conference made no such promises. The Mexican official, COFEPRIS spokesperson Hector Gonzalez, had this to say in the statement, "We are happy to announce plans for a new model of tortilla currently under development in our laboratories. Although we regret that we cannot commit to a firm release date, we hope to have this model in stores by October of this year."
Gonzalez did not deliver details on the tortilla, and declined to comment on the documents that appear to have been leaked, but he assured those present that the tortilla, when ready, would "blow [their] freaking minds."
In the United States, there has been talk of little else. Late night talk shows have debated the likely features of the tortilla with their celebrity guests, talk radio hosts have shared the long and rich history of the tortilla, and entire communities have come together to pay homage to tortillan heritage. It is likely that Mexican officials will begin to share more details about their plan soon, simply to keep civility and ease minds.
As one side effect of all of this tortilla hype, grocers are reporting a shortage of sour cream and sliced olives as excited shoppers stock up for the glorious day to come.
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