BOSTON, MA—Local welder and national socialism sympathizer Christopher Smiths has long held his fascist and ethnocentric beliefs, and often attempts to share his passion for a racial superiority hierarchy with others.
One common way for white supremacists to advertise their system of faith is through symbolism, such as the swastika, which is best known for its association with Adolf Hitler's rein in Germany in the early 1900s. However, despite its near universal recognizability, modern Nazis often struggle to recall it from memory.
"Man, not again," said Smiths, as he attempted to spray a swastika on the side entrance to a library that he believed to contain some books about Jewish history. "I can never remember: are the little line dealies pointing clockwise or the other one?"
Pausing to picture the symbol of hatred and totalitarianism in his mind before spraying his first mark, Smiths lamented that "See, why couldn't we have picked something a little easier? I mean, a cross for Christians is pretty straightforward, right? It's at least symmetrical. Why couldn't my man Hitler have picked something symmetrical?"
Struggling to find the correct depiction to summarize his resentment of non-white immigrants and loathing of fellow citizens who do not share his genetic heritage, Smiths tried to recall a mnemonic that he worked up a few years ago when he was dealing with the same problem.
"Let's see. What was it? The pinwheel blows to the east, because that's where our white ancestors came from. We're facing north right now, so what would that mean? Wait, was it 'to the east' or 'from the east?'"
Smiths thought for a moment that he had the swastika somewhere in his wallet, but lamented that he keeps his membership cards at home. "You know, it would really help if I just got the sucker tattooed on me somewhere I could see," he commented. "The back of my neck is just so impractical."
Ultimately, Smiths flipped a coin to decide how to draw the symbol that represents everything that motivates him and he holds to be dear and true.
When reached for comment, the library staff rolled their eyes and said, "Poor guy got it backwards again," before painting over it.
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