UNITED STATES—Following a day dedicated to remembrance of how good we have it in the United States, the nation's citizens awoke this morning anxious to get right back into whining.
Despite brief acknowledgments that poverty is lower than it has ever been in the history of the world, literacy rates are higher than ever, multiple deadly diseases have been virtually or literally eradicated, employment rates are near desirable levels, and there is plentiful food in virtually every household, the people of the most prosperous nation in the history of the world quickly took to social media this morning to continue complaining about how things still are not just the way they want.
The 24-hour respite was a short-but-sweet period in between the otherwise constant griping about issues that would not even raise an eyebrow just 50 years ago. For a few short moments, rather than bitching like entitled little twerps, most of America came together to reflect upon medical advancements, agricultural improvements, and technological miracles that they take for granted each and every day.
In Connecticut, a family of college-educated, fully vaccinated people who enjoy the full rights of the Constitution, and have never truly understood hunger engaged in pleasant conversation about childhood memories where they each had bicycles, celebrated birthdays with actual cake, and lived within walking distance of friends and loved ones.
In Wyoming, a young family sat for a full 6 hours consuming a meal that any king throughout history would have considered elaborate, before then observing a sporting event in high definition that was taking place 300 miles away.
This morning, members of both families awoke to immediately complain about student loans they willfully entered into, being expected to pay some of their salaries into their own healthcare, and how much pollution their state-of-the-art vehicles produce. They did all of this using their smartphones that possess more computing power than all of NASA had when making the first moon landing.
The nation announced plans to continue their bellyaching and grumbling for another 364 days, at least, and said if you think differently, they'll denounce you, too.
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