NEW YORK, NY—The United Nations has acknowledged a growing worldwide crisis from the internet users of the world, who demand an immediate increase of available images and videos of your children, dogs, cats, among other things you may find cute or otherwise worthy of attention.
The approximate 3.2 billion users of the commodity that allows the exchange of virtually all forms of media and information issued a demand to the UN on Friday of this week, explaining that they have now completed their review of all of the videos and photos you've posted of your children, nieces or nephews, pets, birds in your neighborhood, flowers growing in your yard, and food that you ate at that restaurant yesterday, and they are in a hurry to get started on your next batch. They also state that it is rather rude of you to get them so engaged in your life and then not have plans to provide them with a steady supply. Indeed, it appears that demand has far surpassed supply of your media, as at least 1.1 billion internet users completed their reviews of your files and then re-observed all of them from the start, got through them all again, and have been sitting at their phones, tablets, and computers ever since, waiting for more.
The UN has fully backed the group's demands, calling this perhaps one of the greatest crises in our lifetimes. One spokesperson from Paraguay said late yesterday, "We always fear the unforeseeable consequences of new technology like the internet, but I don't think anyone could have seen this travesty."
There appears to be no clear solution, aside from calling an international day releasing all nonessential personnel from work and other duties, and asking them to post photos and videos of literally anything that someone might find interesting, such as a cloud, the portion size of your milkshake, a shape you think looks a little like a cartoon character from your childhood, and even weird lumps or marks on your skin.
"This will take a lot of work," said a spokesperson from Spain, "but it is time for humanity to come together and face this challenge. We will rise from the ashes, stronger than ever before."
As of press time, only 4 countries had sunk into the depths of the earth, and 10 more were on fire, with 6 unaccounted for.
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