New Headphones Designed to Block Unwanted Thanksgiving Conversation

TOKYO, JAPAN—Tech company Sony has just released a groundbreaking new model of headphones, named Chuck, based on their popular noise-cancelling designs. However, whereas the typical model blocks out most sounds external to the ear so that the listener can more clearly hear their musical or speaking selection at a lower volume, the new model is designed specifically to block out unwanted conversations.

Combining speech-recognition technology with the standard features of noise-cancelling headphones, this device can be set to recognize certain trigger words and, once someone within 25 feet says these words, the headphones begin playing music of the listener's choice until the topic of conversation changes.

"For example," explains Harley Westerfield, spokesperson for the company in the U.S., "Let's say I specifically want to avoid all conversations about religion at an upcoming event. I simply say, 'Hey Chuck, block out all religious conversations.' Then, as long as I'm wearing Chuck, he will begin playing my selected playlist whenever someone around me mentions words like 'God,' 'Holy,' 'prayer,' and so on. That way, I can just sit and politely nod without ever hearing something that I haven't consented to hear."

These headphones were specifically designed with Thanksgiving in mind, said the spokesperson. "We at Sony understand how painful dinner conversation can be at family gatherings like Thanksgiving meals. We've all got that weird uncle who always brings up politics, or conspiracy theories and such. With Chuck's state-of-the-art design, everyone around the table can let that uncle say his piece while softly jamming to their favorite modern hits."

The headphones can also be programmed to specifically recognize an individual voice, so that if one prefers to simply never hear a specific coworker speak, they can set Chuck to block out that person's voice forever. "It even works with spouses!" added Westerfield, unprompted.

The headphones do not come cheap. They are currently priced at $450, but with the continuing impeachment inquiry, the campaign cycle with another year left, and the holiday season upon us, the new model has sold out already and is back-ordered for several months.