DALLAS, TX—Live music enthusiasts at a local venue were quick to conclude that the person most likely to be the bass player in the group of musicians was the one who has a full beard.
Given that there were four men of approximately the same age standing on stage, conversing quietly and checking various equipment, and only one of them had a beard, it seemed only logical to the patrons that, assuming one of them would play the bass, it would be the bearded gentleman.
"I mean, statistically speaking, there's probably data to back that up, right?" stated Ezekiel Applebaum, 26, who frequents the venue approximately 3 times in a month. "I don't mean to stereotype or anything, but isn't that sort of like, their mark, or something?" he said, referring to the well-maintained beard on one of the band members.
"Oh, that's 100% true," added Florence Mattias, 29. "I've personally known 6 bass players, and every single one of them had a beard at some point. It's sort of an unspoken rule among the bassists."
As the band members continued to adjust their equipment, there was a moment of confusion as the clean-shaven man with hair down to his shoulders—and, therefore, ostensibly the guitarist or drummer—approached the bass for a moment. However, their expectations quickly returned to normal when the long-haired man only adjusted where a cable was lying on the stage.
Finally, after setup was complete, the bearded man took his rightful place stage right, stoically strumming at the electric bass guitar and occasionally making eye contact with the drummer to synchronize their rhythms, while the lead guitarist and vocalist were animated and lively.
Having met all the audience's stereotypes, the crowd was moderately engaged in the music, and rated them as "pretty good" after the show.
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