With great sorrow and heartache, the family and loved ones of Harriet Griswold announce her passing on Friday after getting too close to former Vice President Joe Biden while on the campaign trail.
Harriet was a beloved mother and new grandmother to two young boys. She was a violinist and skilled accountant who will be missed at her job at a local firm.
Harriet was always politically conscious, and as such, was carefully weighing the stances of the presidential hopefuls for next year's election. She had already attended speeches by 3 of the remaining democratic candidates, and one from incumbent Donald Trump.
She went to hear Mr. Biden's talk on Thursday, and had a chance to attempt to shake his hand and ask him a question about foreign policy. However, the unrestrained Biden must have been startled by her gentle approach and small stature, as he abruptly chewed off her extended limb in a frenzied orgy of carnage and confusion.
The Biden campaign offered their deepest condolences for the loss of Harriet, but used the incident to caution others who do not heed the warning signs. They plead with people coming into close contact with the former vice president to watch for slurred speech, direct eye contact, and smiling of any sort, as those are usually indicators that he is on the verge of pouncing upon any unsuspecting passersby.
Harriet's family wishes only that they had paid closer attention to Mr. Biden's history of unwelcome advances that have advanced to biting, and now ultimately in the death of a loved one.
In lieu of flowers, Harriet's family has asked that loved ones make a donation to Tulsi Gabbard's presidential campaign.
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