ANAHEIM, CA—In early 2015, Jova Kareesh started a community of like-minded individuals who were concerned about the state of humanity, and who wished to purify their spirits. Kareesh, 61, slowly formed his blueprint for this soul purification, which included moving all of the followers into a small compound outside of city limits, slowly restricting the kinds of material goods that his followers could have or consume, and limiting their contact with the outside world. Now, just over 4 years later, he says that he's running out of ideas.
It seems that a combination of his followers' lack of peaceful feelings and his continual need to place new restrictions on their thoughts and behaviors has backed Kareesh into a corner.
"I feel like it's my job to keep these morons occupied 24/7," said Kareesh in a candid interview. "I mean, I figured that by giving up all of their worldly possessions, they would start to feel better. But they just got bored. We don't have T.V.s or internet. So I figured if I move them all to the same place, they wouldn't see how awesome stuff actually is and just get to talking with each other. That backfired, too. I mean, there's only so much you can talk about when all there is for miles around are a few cacti and scorpions. They're getting restless."
Kareesh admits that he's been making up things as he goes. For some reason, people thought that he is a good listener, and because he has a beard and some wrinkles, hey figured he is probably super wise and spiritual.
"I mean, I'm starting to think I'm in over my head," he shared. "At first, I figured these nutjobs just needed a couple of days of no social media to clear their heads, but it turns out they still have some pretty big issues. I have absolutely no training or expertise, so I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that the nonsense I've tried has made no difference."
Kareesh, who changed his name from James Warner to sound more like a spiritual guru, says that his followers continue to pester him for answers about the meaning of existence, and what they need to do to be enlightened. "I just keep punting, you know? I tell them something like, 'You are not ready, my child.' I found out pretty quickly they like to be called 'my child.' Probably some childhood issues there."
The cult leader has been racking his brain for what to do from here, and he figures that he can go one of two directions now. "At this point, I think we either need to really open things up in terms of open relationships, or we need to go the mass suicide route. I mean, on the one hand, the open relationships could keep things interesting for a while. It's sort of like a reality show when we have no T.V.s, but I bet that eventually that will just implode on itself, too, and then we'll have to go with Plan B and all kill ourselves."
Although not initially his plan, Kareesh seems to think that his current model is simply not sustainable, and he's been thinking of throwing in the towel for some time. "Yeah, if I'm honest, when I imagine all of their stupid, smelly corpses surrounding me after I suggest that this is the answer to all of their problems, I get a big grin on my face. So, I don't know. Right now it's kind of a toss up between that and me just taking everything in the safe and hopping down to Mexico in the middle of the night."
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