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  • Writer's pictureTodd Blankenship

No, I am Not Interested in Changing Insurance


Hey babes. I've been told by my weird boss that I need to start reading more of my mail, because apparently like 18 people went to jail a few weeks ago after I never wrote them back about their predicament. For the record, had I read their letters, I totally would have advised them not to start the fires, or at least I would have given them some solid tips on how to avoid getting caught. Sheesh.

Anyway, I came up with a new system for selecting letters to respond to. I have one of the interns put all of my mail for the week into the clothes dryer with no heat (just to shuffle them up), and then I'll randomly draw one out the first time I lose my temper at the intern that day. Sometimes he doesn't have to wait long, haha.

This week's winner is from P.W. right here in Chicago. He writes, "Dear Cassie, [I would be ashamed if I failed to tell you you truly are a gem of the Midwest. Please don't ever change.] I am a local insurer with more than 15 years of experience. In that time, I have saved countless clients a combined total of $22 million on all of their insurance needs. I am sure that I can do the same for you. Please give me a call during normal business hours and we'll set up a personal quote for your home, car, motorcycle, and even boat insurance. Thank you,"

So, I'm not sure where to start here, P.W. First, I'm not exactly sure how this fits into the advice column, because it sounds like you have some good things going for you. That experience is good and should do you well as you continue to do your thing in insurance. That is a lot of savings, so you should really be proud of that. However, I am a little creeped out that you know I live in a home and own a car. I did ride a motorcycle once, and I have been thinking about going on another cruise, so either you are way into my Instagram account or you're one of those weird stalkers, or maybe both. That's a bit much for me, P.W.

I suppose my advice to you is to focus on your clients instead of obsessing over me. Sound good?

Okay, well maybe next time I'll have something juicy to write about. So long, peeps.

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