Hey babes, getting ready for the summer can be a real task. I've been really busy keeping my servants working on getting my place spotless for all of the house parties I plan on throwing over the next few months. I'm also really avoiding eating at all costs so that I'm looking my best for the beach. The things we do for the worship of strangers, right? Well, it sounds like a lot of you are also looking to prepare for the summer in your own ways. The interns tell me that some of you are hoping to make career changes or spend time with loved ones or whatever. OMG BORING! Thankfully, at least one of you had something interesting to say in your summer preparation. H.A., from the West Coast, writes, Hey, Cassie! [I know you're far too humble to accept much praise from your lowly fans, but I just have to say that I wish all of my friends were you. Not just like you, but literally you. So anyway,] I really need some help with this issue. I am super excited to make this the summer of love for me, but I'm really tied down to this husband. He doesn't strike me as the type to be cool with my plans to date other guys, so I want to see if there is some what I can still do what I want, but make it seem to him like it's his fault, you know? Any advice? H.A, you are talking to an expert at making things seem different than reality. I'm sure that I can help here. What you're referring to is called "gaslighting." It's basically where you do whatever you want, and when someone has a problem with it, you make them feel like they are the unreasonable one. Gaslighting is a really nice strategy when you like to feel like you can't do anything wrong, or you want to keep on doing what you're doing and not face negative consequences from the person who's getting affected by it. It's a difficult skill for some to acquire. Some of us are born with it, but we can teach you a thing or two. First, above all, you have to maintaing total composure. You have to be absolutely certain that you are irreproachable. If you flinch even a little, the person you're crushing will catch on and then the jig is up. Practice in the mirror so that you can see how the other person will see your facial expressions. Listen to your tone, and make sure that there's no hesitation. Second, as soon as they bring up the issue, act shocked that they would even think it's worth talking about. Be condescending here, but willing to discuss it. Say things like, "Um, sure, I guess we can talk about it. I don't see the problem, though." That sends a shot across their bow and puts you in the advantage, having already invalidated their feelings. Then, once they get going, smile or give concerned looks. Think of the look you would give a toddler who just can't get their shoe tied, despite all the effort. It's cute, but they're helpless. This sort of thing will either drive them crazy or start to get them to question whether they are being unreasonable. Either way, once they are unhinged like that, it's just a matter of time before critical mass. When they get really direct about your misleading them or whatever it is, with a totally straight face, you tell them that you already discussed it, and they agreed to it, or that you don't see what the problem is. Go as far as you think you can, just enough so that they entertain the idea that they are the ones who are off their rocker. Now, repeat this process at least daily until they are a broken shell of their former selves. Then, you can go about your business guilt-free.
Well, good luck, and remember, the key to successful gaslighting is confidence and perseverance.