This just in—a clever and handsome young up-and-coming news anchor is seeking a relationship with a beautiful, charming, and funny woman. She must be good at light banter in between stories, but also be able to communicate accurate and concise messages about the state of our relationship, how her day was, and where she wants to eat dinner.
I prefer a woman who doesn't mind the occasional interruption for an important message from sponsors, who can read cues from others, and who understands the value of direct eye contact. Although I expect that politics and religion will come up in many of our conversations, it's important that she remain neutral and objective in her approach, so as to inform me of what's most relevant, but not attempt to sway me.
Although much of our relationship will likely be serious, I highly value a good laugh. One that is light and jovial, with a smile that shows her teeth, but not too much. This will help to reveal her human side to me, even though I will primarily rely on her to be a source of information.
She must be available most weekends to start, and then, after a probationary period, she may be expected to be available on more of a full-time basis. Interested applicants should apply via text, and qualified individuals will be invited for a lunch interview at a restaurant of their choosing.
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