Hey, everyone hungry for the news. You came to the right place, because boy have I got a real breaking headline for you: Nobody showed up at my birthday party yesterday.
It's not like I didn't tell anyone. I sent out "save the date" cards to everyone I know a month ago, and I clearly posted multiple reminders on my social media accounts, but still, there was nobody there at the ball pit to play with me. Nobody brought me any presents except the server who brought my free sundae, but he gave me a really judgmental look, like he'd never seen a grown man crying over a cake before.
I just don't know what to make of it, everybody. I mean, I make a lot of jokes around the office, so maybe everybody just thought that my party was a prank. Like, last week, I told Ash that his doctor had called and said something about "malignant" and to call her immediately. He didn't even crack a smile, but I bet he thought it was a pretty good joke later when he told his wife about it.
So maybe that's it, right? They were all just so used to my pranks that they figured if they showed up to a pizza-and-fun zone, I'd just let all the air out of their tires in the parking lot like at the company picnic last year. They just don't want to get played again, right? It's not that they don't admire and appreciate me. They just figured I was too good of a prankster to risk it.
Okay, that helps me feel better. In fact, it would make a pretty good prank to post these selfies of me, sad and alone with my cake and no presents, my party hat crooked and my eyes red from sobbing, all over the internet, huh? That way they'd see what they had done and feel really bad. I bet soon, they'll throw together a surprise party for me to make up for it. I'd better get some water balloons ready so that I can show them what a real surprise looks like.
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