ATLANTA, GA—On the campaign trail late yesterday, Former Vice President and current presidential hopeful just pleaded with the audience to know what it was he needed to hold true that would make them vote for him.
This plea comes on the heels of a 40-year reversal of his support of the Hyde Amendment, which prevented taxpayer monies from going toward abortions. For decades, Biden, a Roman Catholic, held a relatively moderate stance toward abortion, such as supporting restrictions on late-term abortions and, of course, through his support of the Hyde Amendment. After some light push-back from the progressive wing of the democratic party, however, Biden reversed his supposedly principled belief, and said that he no longer supported the legislation that has saved an estimated 2.13 million lives.
This is not the first time that Biden has crumbled under the slightest hint of pressure from the outrage mob. In late April, Biden made a comment that the current Vice President, Mike Pence, is a "decent guy," but then quickly reversed course after some people found his civility to be a weakness.
After all of the back-and-forth on what stances to hold, it appears that Biden has decided to cut right to the chase. During a meeting with the press, he asked, "Look, what sort of deeply-held positions do you guys want me to have before you'll make me president?"
The audience hesitated for a moment, apparently not entirely sure what to make of his addressing the elephant in the room. So, he continued, "No, seriously. I'm asking. Just tell me what principles I need to be president. I'm flexible. Do you have a list, because I can flip just as fast as I can flop. Whatever you want me to be, just name it."
The former vice president is currently leading the polls, but the other 732 democratic candidates have begun to chip away at his image, so that he appears to feel that he needs to change his game plan. This seemed especially apparent as he continued, "I just really want to be president, okay? So how about you all just sit down, come up with the core values you want your ideal president to have, and then email them to me? We all good with that?"
The reaction to his stance has been mixed, with some supporters saying that they thought they liked his morals and values, but after a few people criticized them on social media, now they aren't so sure. "I just don't know what to think after someone else disagreed with Joe [Biden]," said one likely voter in Arizona. "That person also seems like a democrat, so I must not have understood what it is we're supposed to think."
Others seem excited to have a fully malleable candidate, as that will be useful as things continue to change during the first term in office. "It's nice to know we have someone who will sway with the slightest breeze," said one likely voter in Vermont. "That way, they can really keep up with all the latest fads."
Whether Biden receives or actually sticks to any list of the desirable core values of a democratic candidate remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure: this is going to be one of the worst campaign seasons in the history of the world.
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