RUTLAND, VT—In a touching gesture for his newborn daughter, Charles Feinstein has created a straightforward checklist for how his daughter can work to earn his love, respect, and approval.
"I had a bit of a rough childhood," shared Feinstein, 32. "I just felt like, no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I could just never get my dad's approval. No matter what grades I got, or how many runs I'd score I just never heard my dad say that he was proud of me, or that he thought I had accomplished anything. I just never knew what he wanted from me. Well, things are going to be different for my daughter."
The sales executive then displayed the 3-page document that he had compiled since the day he found out that he would be a father 8 months previous. The document is titled, "How to Get Daddy's Approval," and offers a brief introduction before listing off 58 things that Feinstein requires of his daughter, Lily, to do or become in order to give her emotional support and acceptance, as well as physical warmth.
Among the items are the following:
Maintain a B average throughout all of school.
No country music or rap.
Go at least 5 hours without a pit stop on a road trip.
At least 3 trophies or medals in one or more of the following acceptable sports...
Play "Stairway to Heaven" flawlessly.
Meet James Franco.
The list goes on in similar fashion, with only a few footnotes to clarify criteria or other caveats. At the end it is signed and notarized by Mr. Feinstein, dated on the day of his daughter's birth 5 days ago.
"I have a lot of bad memories of my growing up. Even now, I don't have a relationship with my father," continued Feinstein. "I think I ran out of ideas when I was about 25 for what it was he wanted from me. I just want better for my daughter. I want her to know exactly why I act distant, and treat her with indifference. I want her to know precisely what it is I'm after, unlike my father, who wouldn't give me a clue."
When asked her reaction to her husband's document, Lorene Belen-Feinstein commented, "Actually, I get it. His list for me that described his conditional love was very helpful when we were dating. It took me about 8 months to reach level 34, which is when he had clearly outlined he would propose, and sure enough, he did it the next night. I think she'll come to appreciate the system."
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