Hey babes. It seems like this last week has just been a whirlwind of shopping, peppered with hair and nail salons, right? Sometimes I wonder if things will ever calm down! I mean, I could sure use some "me" time, you know?
Well, consider yourselves fortunate. Out of all of the letters you sent, I did choose one lucky one at random to read and respond to, so here it goes. H.A. from the Portland area writes,
"Bonjour, [benevolent] Cassie! I just can't [seem to stop reading your work! If I knew where you lived, I would probably crawl behind you and worship the ground you walk on. Well, anyway, maybe you can help me] find a solution to this problem. Like a lot of people these days, I am super opinionated. I really like to tell other people what they should think, and it's my favorite thing to get really upset at people when they don't think like I do and like things I like. But there have been a couple of times when I get lecturing people, and they sometimes tell me things that are uncomfortable and I don't know how to respond. They always start mentioning facts and logic that get in the way of my opinions. That's a real bummer, because I don't want to change my mind, so what can I do that doesn't require a lot of reading or learning or general defending of my views, but that will still let me win the argument? Thanks!"
H.A., you are a true champion of the post-fact generation, and I really applaud you for it, even though you can't hear me. You are so right—it can get really uncomfortable to be the one being lectured even though you really like your opinions. Opinions are like warm security blankets: they help us feel safe and warm from a world that is full of cold and heartless science, research, facts, and reason. Now, more than ever, we really need to clutch onto our opinions before someone offers us something more convincing. Remember, kids, nothing is more precious than what you think right now, so protect that against all sources of non-concordant information.
As for actually still winning that argument, you're right that it can be difficult when you are getting viciously confronted with heretical logic, statistics, and uncomfortable ideas. At times, you may start to question your original opinion. But stay firm, my friend. If you have an opinion, and everyone should, then you just hold onto that forever. I find that, whether the argument is with your credit card company, your landlady, your significant other, your professor, or the prosecuting attorney, your best options are to change the nature of the argument. For example, once someone tries to confront you with a fact you don't like, or an uncomfortable question you can't answer, do one of these things:
1. Question their motives. Like, if you say "nice day today," and somebody counters with "Well, I'm not a big fan of the rain," then you immediately ask why they hate the planet. This puts them on the defensive and makes you feel powerful.
2. Accuse them of some sort of -ism. Racism, sexism, ageism, or whatever. It doesn't matter if the accusation holds, but I find that this really changes the focus, because then that person has to prove your accusation is wrong.
3. Get loud. A basic rule of being right is that whoever is loudest is also rightest.
4. When all else fails, cry. Don't just shed a few tears, but like, really sob. This immediately sweeps the rug out from under the other person and the attention is all on you. The other person looks like a heartless monster for ever holding an alternative view of the world from yours, and you get instant sympathy.
Well, I hope that these tips are helpful for you, and if not, why do you hate advice columnists so much? See how that works?