Hey babes. I don't know about you, but I am already bored with 2019. You would think that by mid-January we would finally have figured out all of our problems, but here we are.
Anyway, speaking of figuring out problems, let's see what's wrong with you guys. I was using your letters this week to level a coffee table when one of them caught my eye. It had nice handwriting for the return address, so I thought I'd check it out. It was from J.Y. near the four corners. She is having some trouble finding her inner diva, it seems.
"Hi, Cassie," she writes. "So [all of] my friend[s keep] recommend[ing] that I write to you for [you are truly a sage—nay, an oracle of truth, wisdom, and] advice. I was recently in a job interview and the person asked me to name some of my strengths. I sort of froze. I didn't really know what to say. Like, I'm pretty good at pumping my own gas, and I once sent three texts in between looking at the road, but like, I wasn't sure exactly what to tell this interviewer. How do you just, you know, radiate such awesomeness, and how can I do that?"
Thanks so much for the letter, J.Y. You are defs not alone in this pursuit of grandiosity. A lot of people have this natural—oh, what do you call it—humility that really gets in the way of their vanity. I am constantly working to shrug off my humility so that I can be honest with people about how truly amazing I am. But if I can do it, then there's a very slim chance that you can, too.
The main thing to remember is that you are fabulous just the way you are right now. You don't need new skills, you don't need to learn anything, you don't need to pursue any self-betterment. That stuff is for losers who know they are losers. I see all of these insecure people who are going to school, reading books, keeping up on the news and politics, and meeting new people. I just want to scream at them, like "self-improvement just acknowledges that you're not perfect!"
I know this may seem a little ironic coming from a self-help column, but this is like, half of my job: telling you guys that changing yourselves is hard, so things are probably someone else's fault. You march into that interview and tell that interviewer, "I'm J.Y., y'all. I am the greatest thing that ever happened to the world, so where's my money?"
I'm really excited to hear how that goes with your new confidence. I can't wait. Keep those letters coming! I have another wobbly coffee table that needs them!